The Snake Pit

The Snake Pit

Thursday, January 21, 2010, it is 12:14 am. Today I find my self unable to sleep; it is one of those nights that something is looming in my thoughts and I have to get up and write it. I started looking for a pen and paper before all my ideas are gone and I could be left with and empty mind and no sleep.

I speak and write tow languages, Spanish being my first language and English being my second language, I usually express what I feel in Spanish my natural language but today I am force to write in English because I have the feeling that what ever I will put on this paper it will be better explained in English. It is difficult to explain why I am writing in English but I believe that I do not have the ability to write these words in Spanish due to the situation that most of my readings and studies about any topic are conducted in English.

The idea of people always looking for a better place to live, to work, to play, to relax or to do anything was fore most on my thoughts tonight; I was thinking on some of my friends that are always looking for ways to improve their lives but usually do not succeed, these friends of mine are always trying hard to do the next best thing and by their character they usually are not happy with what they accomplish and most of their complains are directed at their jobs or the people they work with, most of the time they blame other employees behaviors and charge these other employees as the main cause of their troubles. As one of my friends told me long ago back in 1998 when I was working with the US Army “sometimes I feel like I am in a snake pit and a boa constrictor is crushing me while a cobra and a black mamba are biting me, I feel their poison and the crushing pressure but I can do nothing to stop it”. Feeling like been in a snake pit when a person is around his or hers coworkers is a strong form of anxiety at work, it could turn any body into a possible mental case for psychiatric treatment I thought to my self.

Long time later when I had other jobs and went through different process of maturity I understood what my friend was trying to tell me; in different words he was trying to tell me that is hard being on a job when most coworkers do not get a long and the chemistry of the team goes Kaboon and explodes into discussions about other people’s behaviors‘. Through my experience in different jobs environment I had come to think that if there are two people working together each person has a fifty percent chance of causing a good impression on each other; might that impression be through aptitude, appearance, voice of communication tone or any other human interaction trait each person poses.

Now that fifty percent chance decrease according to the size of the group because we have no control on how different people my interpret our behavior. Example if there are three people working the chances decrease to 33 percent because each person can not control what the other two talk about when that third persona is not present; if there are four people working the chances of those people’s opinion being good about each individual is reduce 25 percent; for five people the chances decrease to twenty percent an so on according to the size of the group.
Now do not be alarm, there are ways to improve ones image to the group; the first one is character, if any body wants to be treated like a winner or be seen or perceive as a good worker it has to be by behaving like one; any body that needs recognition and acknowledgement needs to star behaving like a person capable of taking on any challenge and overcome those challenges when they arise, always thinking on the best for the group and not just for the individual.

The second strategy to improve people’s image around the work place is through communication by expressing their selves while respecting others and always paying attention to other peoples mood. Never think or assume that what other people say about them can not hurt them; always be aware what other people think about you even if you think that they have a good opinion about you, try not to be hostile and always keep it professional, in this way people will have less opportunities to say something that might be harmful to others and if what comes to mind when you hear something hostile is to be hostile back at that person, do not do it the best way to approach a hostile situation at work is with kindness, professionalism and good moral character.

The third way to improve people’s image at work is by publicity but it cost to much effort and most people will not perceive you as real or part of the team, publicity is a good strategy better use for people that usually do not deal with you on an everyday basis.

I have come to believe that the best way to improve the opinion of others about me is by being the best person I can be and always keeping it natural, flexible and real people love when they get to know the real person behind my smile.

Ouch, now I am done and I have to pass all these to the computer and post if in my blog and is already 1:11 am an no sleep, double, ouch, ouch. Final comment before I go, the last part where I use the first person “I have come to believe that the best way to improve the opinion of others about me” was done on purpose to motivate the reader to think of them selves and if they have been in a similar position to try and become the best they can be.

Poor Man's Economy

Poor Man’s Economy

A few nights ago I was drinking and eating at home with some friends and I was sitting at my apartments gallery with Don Rafael an 83 years old, from the Dominican Republic who live in Puerto Rico; we were talking about how bad the economy is and how little the jobs are paying. The conversation we were having about savings was that today people only make enough money to live and is hard to save any money.

Don Rafael after hearing about the situation started talking about his days in the Dominican Republic and he say “Tito, if you think is hard to save money now imaging myself at the Dominican Republic years ago, I worked for 40 years and never could I save anything it was not until 1994 that I came to Puerto Rico and started saving some money, I started working at a Cuban restaurant in Isla Verde, Carolina, Puerto Rico, and started sending some money to my family in the Dominican Republic.”

I was surprise and asked “40 years with out saving or anything, but why?”

Don Rafael looked at the sealing as someone would when they are thinking and after a few moments continue” is not that I did not wanted to save is that I could not, I only made enough to live by, but when I came here I started working and saving money; I remember that I could buy my food for the week with only twenty dollars.”

I reacted surprise “twenty dollars only, for a week of food?” in a louder tone of voice I went “ What were you eating, just meat and potatoes?”

Rafael with the ease that only years can give a human being said to me “I did not buy anything expensive and I could always eat at the restaurant so I started saving and sending some money home, and after six years I was buying property at the Dominican Republic.”

I was kind of speechless after that and Rafael seeing my loss for words went on “Tito the most important thing for a man to do is never to give up, you have to keep fighting for what you want.”

After a few minutes of conversation I realize that this 83 year’s old man started saving for a house after fifty years of living in poverty, that he did not made any money back in his home country, but he never gave up and continue fighting for his dream. He came to Puerto Rico by himself where his financial situation was a little better and worked hard to obtain a house for his family. I learned a lot from Don Rafael that night, he was telling me how hard “is to get by in life but as a person you can never give up”. Life is hard for most people and there is not a manual that can tell people what to do, as a man we have to follow the way lay for us, but we can not for get about the people around us, they are also in their respective journeys’ and we are all along for the walk of life.

My life has not been easy but is also not the hardest, I have had plenty of opportunities that I have squandered, and I has taken myself more than 30 years to learn the beautiful things life has to offer and I believe that I have much more to learn and enjoy, I have learned to stop and think, analyze the situation and enjoy the moment because any thing that I do it will eventually have repercussions in my life and I have to keep fighting for success, my life and the well being of my family depends on what I do.